June 13
Invited to Speak
The quiet member has said nothing, and we wonder whether to call on them. We want everyone's experience included. We may also want the satisfaction of having drawn them out. An invitation can become pressure when we keep insisting that their contribution is needed after they have indicated they would rather listen.
Participation requires opportunities that people can actually use. Some need an explanation of the issue, time to gather their thoughts, or reassurance that disagreement is welcome. Others have nothing to add today. We can make space without making a performance of their silence. A straightforward invitation and a respectful acceptance of the answer often do more than repeated encouragement. The same care applies when we are the quiet member: we are allowed to listen, and we are allowed to discover that our experience matters. A group grows more informed when voices are welcomed without being extracted.
How do I invite another person's contribution while respecting their choice?
The invitation can stand without being repeated.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concept IV.