June 1
The Missing Part of the Story
The account we give our sponsor of a disagreement can be careful and accurate. Every fact we include is true. There is simply one part we leave out: the promise we forgot, the sharp remark we made first, or the message we did not answer. The advice we receive fits the situation we described, which is almost the situation we are in.
Trusted counsel depends partly on what we make available to it. Someone cannot help us examine a fact they have never been given. We may not intend to mislead; embarrassment can quietly edit a story before we notice. Bringing the missing part into the conversation often changes more than the advice. It changes our willingness to be known. We move from presenting a case toward sharing a difficulty. The other person may still sympathize with us, but now their sympathy and their questions have a fuller account to work with.
What detail would make this conversation more honest?
There is still time to tell the rest.
For the A.A. nerds: As Bill Sees It, No. 289, “When Conflicts Mount.”