May 20
Room to Return
Someone who has caused trouble comes back to the meeting. We remember the disruption, and we may have good reasons to be cautious. Yet there is a temptation to make our expression say what the welcome says politely enough to conceal: you are here on probation, and we have not forgotten anything.
A group can maintain clear expectations for conduct while making recovery available. Those two responsibilities deserve patient attention. The person returning may need limits; they also need the possibility of being met as an alcoholic seeking help. Some of us know how much courage a return can take. We need not put anyone at risk to refrain from humiliating somebody. A straightforward welcome leaves the group free to address actual behavior as it occurs. It also leaves room for a person's next chapter to contain something other than the one we remember.
What would a welcome with clear limits sound like in this situation?
The past need not supply every word of the greeting.
For the A.A. nerds: As Bill Sees It, No. 28, “Troublemakers Can Be Teachers.”