May 1
Beyond Our Experience
Being sober has taught us things we could not have learned from a distance. That experience is valuable. It can also make us unexpectedly confident about matters we know little about. Someone asks about a marriage, a medical concern, or a serious work problem, and the trust in their voice tempts us to answer as though sobriety has made us qualified in every neighboring subject.
Admitting the limit of our knowledge need not end the conversation. We can hear the fear, share genuinely relevant experience, and encourage help from someone equipped for the particular question. The person may need our friendship alongside that help. Their confidence in us makes accuracy more important, not less. A sponsor who says that a matter is beyond their experience offers something useful: an example of honesty without embarrassment. We do not have to supply an answer to remain someone worth calling.
Where am I tempted to sound certain because someone trusts me?
“I do not know enough about that” is an honest answer.
For the A.A. nerds: As Bill Sees It, No. 14, “Newcomer Problems.”