April 5
Letting Someone Give
We are comfortable bringing a meal, making a call, or offering a ride. When someone offers the same kindness to us, we hesitate. We do not want to owe anybody. We do not want to appear helpless. Perhaps we worry they will discover how much we need. Being the helpful one has given us a secure position, and receiving would move us into less familiar territory.
A friendship can become oddly unequal when only one person is permitted to give. The other may welcome a chance to contribute something real. Accepting a reasonable kindness allows their care to have a place in the relationship. It does not transfer our responsibilities or commit us to every future request. We can receive with gratitude and remain free. Learning to live with people includes allowing them the satisfaction we find in doing a simple useful thing for someone else.
What might another person be offering besides the practical help itself?
There is kindness here for me to receive.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Eight.