April 4
A Place for Disagreement
Finding people who understand us can be such a relief that disagreement later feels like losing our place. A member questions our view, the group chooses another format, or a friend remembers an event differently. We begin wondering whether these are really our people after all. The welcome seemed secure while everyone nodded; now we are unsure what belonging is supposed to mean.
Relationships sturdy enough to help us will sometimes include friction. Other people bring experience we do not possess and concerns we may not share. We can remain interested without agreeing, and we can speak honestly without announcing our departure. There are genuine reasons to leave particular situations, but an ordinary difference need not carry that burden. Community gives us a chance to discover whether connection can survive the freedom of each person to see something from a different place.
What happens to my sense of belonging when someone disagrees with me?
We have not agreed, and the conversation continues.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Eight; Tradition One.