March 10
While They Are Speaking
When someone entrusts us with something painful, we may hurry to show that we understand. We reach for a similar story, an encouraging phrase, or advice that helped us. The impulse can come from kindness. It can also come from how uncomfortable we feel while another person struggles to find words. Our reassuring voice is easier to hear than the silence we do not know how to fill.
Listening asks us to let their account arrive at its own pace. They may need a moment before the next sentence. Our experience can be useful without taking over the conversation, and a question can help without turning the exchange into an examination. We are being trusted with something that belongs to another person. For a little while, our job may be as simple and demanding as staying interested in what they are trying to say.
What happens to my listening when I become anxious to be helpful?
There is room for the next sentence.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Five.