March 7
Advice We Can Consider
A friend hears our dilemma and sees something we missed. For a moment we feel relieved; perhaps they will tell us exactly what to do. Then their suggestion differs from the answer we wanted, and we remember rather forcefully that nobody in A.A. is supposed to run our life. The distance between wanting rescue and resisting interference can be surprisingly short.
An adviser can help us think without taking possession of our decision. We remain responsible for what we choose, including the choice to dismiss advice before considering it. Hearing another view may expose the fear tucked inside a reasonable explanation. It may also clarify why a suggestion does not fit our circumstances. Either discovery requires listening. Independence becomes more useful when it includes the freedom to learn from people who have no authority to command us.
How do I respond when useful counsel leaves the final choice with me?
The decision is still mine to make.
For the A.A. nerds: As Bill Sees It, No. 83, “We Cannot Live Alone.”