February 25
Still Shaking
We have prayed about a conversation and know roughly what needs saying. When the time comes, our hands are still unsteady. This can seem like evidence that the prayer failed, or that we should wait until we feel more certain. We expected courage to arrive with a calmer body and a clearer voice.
In its discussion of fear, the Big Book turns our attention toward the person God would have us be. In this conversation, that might mean honest, considerate, and willing to listen. None of those requires a flawless delivery. We can speak slowly, admit nervousness, and keep the matter small enough to say truthfully. Some conversations do need more preparation or a safer setting; fear deserves attention rather than automatic defiance. But when the action is reasonably clear, waiting for complete ease may keep us waiting a long time. An unsteady voice can still carry what another person needs to hear.
What would faithful conduct look like if I remained nervous while doing it?
The words do not have to come out smoothly.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “How It Works,” p. 68.