March 4
Changing My Account
We have told a story the same way for years. Now an inventory reveals something we did not previously understand about our part. Alongside the discomfort comes embarrassment: what will people think if we change the account? We may feel committed to the old explanation simply because so many people have heard it.
Honesty does not require our understanding to remain unchanged. We learned what we could at the time, perhaps protecting ourselves from something we were not ready to face. Now there is more to say. A correction need not become a public announcement or a dramatic confession; its proper form depends on who was affected. It may begin in a quiet conversation with a sponsor, followed by whatever repair becomes clear. We are allowed to tell a more accurate story without claiming we have finally understood every detail. Being teachable includes letting new understanding alter the account we once defended sincerely.
What makes it difficult to revise a story I have told with confidence?
I understand a little more of it now.
For the A.A. nerds: As Bill Sees It, No. 17, “Toward Honesty.”