January 7
A Different Kind of Hope
We may arrive with a picture of the person sobriety will allow us to become. Successful again. Admired again. Finally beyond criticism. That picture can carry us through difficult days, but it can also leave us feeling cheated when recovery makes us more aware of our limitations. We hoped to become impressive; we are learning to ask for help.
There may be another kind of hope in that change. An approachable person can admit confusion. A reliable person can say what they cannot promise. Someone who no longer needs to look recovered every minute can have a more honest conversation with another alcoholic. The future remains open, including ambitions worth pursuing. Yet the person we are becoming may matter in ways our original picture left out. We can let experience enlarge that picture without treating our earlier hopes as foolish or demanding a replacement all at once.
How is recovery changing my idea of the person I want to become?
The picture is allowed to change.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, pp. 106–107.