January 5
Useful Enough
The phrase useful life can sound tiring to someone who has spent years trying to earn a place. We may hear it as another demand to produce, volunteer, or become indispensable. Even in sobriety, being valued can seem to depend on how much we do. A free evening begins to feel like evidence against us.
Step Twelve describes giving without a price attached. Perhaps that includes giving without buying our right to belong. Usefulness might mean listening with enough attention to hear what a friend actually wants, rather than offering three solutions and a ride they never requested. It can include knowing when our presence helps and when someone needs room. There is no need to turn service into a contest against our limitations. We have something to offer as people, even on days when our capacity is small and nobody has a job for us.
When does my wish to be useful become a demand to prove my worth?
Belonging need not be earned again this morning.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, p. 106.