November 16
Available, Without Hovering
“Call if you need anything” can be a generous offer. It can also conceal a hope that the call will come quickly and confirm how much we are missed. When it does not come, we may check in, then check again, then hear ourselves explaining a problem nobody has reported. The successor's silence has become harder for us than their questions ever were.
Help has a different shape after a handover. We may still know things worth sharing, and genuine responsibility does not require disappearing. But availability gives the other person room to decide when assistance is useful. Hovering asks them to keep acknowledging our importance. Prayer can help us bear the uncertainty of letting someone learn beyond our supervision. If they call, we can listen to the question they actually have. If they do not, the work may be going along quite adequately without an update to us.
What would being available look like if I did not need to be consulted?
The offer can stand without being repeated.
For the A.A. nerds: The A.A. Service Manual, Appendix E, “The Principle of Rotation.”