November 11
Whose Truth Is It?
Honesty can become an excuse to tell a story that belongs to someone else. We may know why a member stepped away from service, or what is happening in a friend's marriage. When questions arise, sharing the explanation feels helpful. We can even tell ourselves that the facts will prevent gossip. Yet the person who trusted us has had no say in this new audience.
Communication needs both openness and care. The group may need to know that a commitment is vacant, who will cover it, and when a decision is expected. It may have no need for the private sorrow behind the vacancy. Anonymity reminds us that a member's story deserves protection as well as a name. We can be clear about the work without purchasing that clarity with somebody's confidence. Curiosity, including our own, does not automatically create a claim to an answer.
What can I communicate clearly while leaving someone else's private life in their hands?
A confidence can remain a confidence.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Twelve, p. 185.