October 12
The Person Outside Our Circle
We tend to discuss important matters with people who understand us. They know the background and usually see why we are concerned. That makes conversation easier. It can also make a small circle feel like the whole group. By the time other members hear the proposal, we may already be treating their questions as delays to something everyone has agreed upon.
No one has to consult every person about every detail. But a decision affecting the group deserves more than the comfort of our usual companions. Someone outside the circle may notice an effect we have overlooked precisely because their experience differs. We may discover that our agreement was partly a result of asking similar people. Letting the wider conversation begin before our position hardens gives conscience a better chance to work. It also spares other members the discouraging feeling of being invited only to approve a finished arrangement.
Who has not been part of the agreement I am calling obvious?
There are people we have not heard from yet.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Two; Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concept IV.