October 9
An Invitation That Is Real
We tell people that their voices matter, then interrupt, hurry, or explain away what they say. They may still attend, but they stop offering much. From our side, the silence can look like lack of interest. From theirs, it may be the result of discovering that an invitation to speak did not include any possibility of influencing the conversation.
Meaningful participation asks something of the people doing the inviting. We have to be available to a contribution we did not predict and may not like. Hearing someone does not require accepting every suggestion. It does require enough attention to understand it before answering. A thoughtful refusal can leave a person feeling more included than cheerful praise followed by complete disregard. The difference often lies in whether their presence made any real contact with our thinking. People can usually sense when the conversation was settled before they entered it.
How open am I to being influenced by the people I invite to speak?
I have not yet heard what they came to say.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concept IV; Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Two.