October 3
Before Resentment Arrives
We accepted the job gladly, but we are no longer sure what people expect. One person says we should decide; another says we should have asked first. We try to satisfy both and begin dreading every message. It is tempting to conclude that nobody appreciates service. The trouble may be more ordinary: the responsibility was never clearly understood.
Asking what belongs to us can feel awkward, especially when we want to appear capable. But uncertainty left unspoken often turns into resentment aimed at people who cannot read our minds. A clear conversation can make room for the work we agreed to do, the choices it includes, and the matters that require consultation. It may reveal differences that were present from the beginning. Finding those differences now is useful. We can stop treating a vague understanding as a promise everyone else has broken.
What expectation needs to become a conversation before it becomes a resentment?
Clarity is a reasonable thing to ask for.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concepts II and III.