September 5
When the Plan Failed
An arrangement we supported did not work. Attendance was poor, the expense was greater than expected, or the work fell unfairly on a few people. We dread the conversation afterward. Part of us wants to explain that it would have succeeded if everyone had tried harder. Another part wants never to suggest anything again.
The account in Tradition Four gives failure a place in a group's experience without making it the group's permanent identity. Something worthwhile can follow when people are willing to say what happened and learn from it. That may include an apology, changed arrangements, or abandoning an idea we loved. A little humor helps when it includes ourselves and does not dismiss someone else's trouble. We remain capable of contributing after being mistaken. Admitting what failed gives that contribution a more honest place to begin.
What would become easier to learn if I stopped defending this unsuccessful plan?
We are allowed to speak plainly about what happened.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Four, pp. 147–149.