August 11
Please Let Me Help
Another member offers to do the task we always do. We smile and say we have it handled. It is quicker that way, and we know the routine. Their offer sounds tentative, so we assume they are relieved. We may miss the possibility that they were asking for a place in the group and that the task was simply the way they knew to ask.
Receiving help can be a form of generosity. It gives someone else the experience of contributing instead of leaving them permanently on the receiving side. The job may take longer while we explain it, and the result may look a little different. Those inconveniences can be part of welcoming a fellow member into shared responsibility. If our service leaves no room for anyone else's willingness, we may be accomplishing the task while making participation unnecessarily difficult.
How do I respond when someone offers help with work I have come to call mine?
There is room beside me at the task.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve; The A.A. Service Manual, “A.A.'s Legacy of Service.”