August 2
When More Is Needed
An alcoholic tells us about a problem our experience does not equip us to solve. Because we care, we feel pressure to offer an answer anyway. We have heard strong opinions in meetings, and repeating one might sound helpful. Admitting that the matter calls for knowledge beyond ours can feel like confessing that the program has somehow let the person down.
Needing other help does not diminish the value of A.A. Being honest about our limits can protect the person who has trusted us. We can remain available as fellow alcoholics while recognizing that some questions belong with people qualified to answer them. Our usefulness does not depend on covering every need with recovery language. There is humility in giving what we actually have and refusing to dress a guess in the authority of spiritual experience.
Where am I tempted to offer certainty because admitting my limits feels uncomfortable?
Help can come from more than one place.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “The Family Afterward”; Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Five.