July 24
Back Through the Door
Someone returns after drinking again. We remember the time spent with them, the phone calls, the enthusiasm of their last beginning. A tired thought appears: here we go again. We may be ashamed of thinking it, but the thought can reach our face before we have decided what to say. The returning person is already watching for evidence that the welcome has expired.
Our weariness deserves somewhere honest to go. It need not become the first thing this person meets. We can be glad they came back without pretending that everything is fine or volunteering for more than we can sustain. A fresh conversation may include difficult truths about what happened. It can begin with recognition that they are here now. Whatever their next choices will be, the opportunity to seek recovery has not become ours to ration according to how hopeful we feel.
How can I acknowledge my weariness without making someone earn the right to return?
The door is open for this beginning, too.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Three.