July 2
Something We Know From Inside
We may hesitate to talk with a suffering alcoholic because we have no impressive explanation of recovery. Other members seem to know the literature better. They speak with confidence and remember just the right passage. What we remember is opening a bottle after sincerely deciding not to, and the bewilderment of having done it again.
That memory has a use beyond reminding us how bad things were. It may help another person speak honestly about something they have been hiding. We need not exaggerate our drinking or make our experience match theirs. An accurate account, offered without a lecture, can begin a conversation in which neither person has to pretend. Then we have something else to share: what we tried, where help came from, and how we are living sober now. Carrying the message begins with experience we actually have, even when we lack the polish we imagine it requires.
What part of my experience might help someone speak more honestly about their own?
Ordinary words will do.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “Working With Others,” pp. 91–93.