June 28
After We Decide
The decision is made, but our mind keeps holding the meeting. We rehearse the reasons, imagine objections, and check whether anyone sounds disappointed. There is no new information to consider. We are trying to make the choice feel settled by going through the choosing again, as though one more review might finally remove the possibility of regret.
Taking responsibility includes living for a while with what we have decided. We remain available to new facts and willing to correct a mistake. That differs from reopening the matter every time uncertainty makes itself felt. Turning our lives over to God's care gives us somewhere to bring the uneasiness without immediately demanding a new decision. There may be useful work waiting that our repeated mental meetings are keeping us from doing. The outcome will unfold in its own time. For now, a reasonable choice needs an opportunity to become an actual experience.
What would help me live with this decision without repeatedly putting it on trial?
For now, the meeting is over.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Three.