May 29
Wanting Something
Some of us become suspicious whenever a decision offers something we want. If the new job sounds enjoyable or an invitation promises pleasure, perhaps choosing it would be selfish. We begin looking for the harder option, as though difficulty by itself could tell us what God intends. An old fear finds a respectable spiritual vocabulary.
Self-will involves more than having a preference. The question includes our willingness to consider obligations, effects on others, and facts that do not favor us. We can do that while admitting that a possibility appeals to us. Pleasure does not establish that a choice is right, and discomfort does not establish that it is holy. Honest desire belongs in the conversation with God and trusted people. Hiding it may only make the conversation less truthful. A considered decision might include enjoyment without needing an apology for every good thing it offers.
How do I treat my own wishes when I seek guidance?
I need not disguise what I hope for.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Eleven, discussion of prayer and our needs.