May 22
When the Vote Goes Elsewhere
We make our case, answer the questions, and watch the group choose another course. There may be no misconduct to object to, no one who failed to listen. People simply considered the matter and disagreed. This can be harder to accept than an obviously unfair process because there is less for our disappointment to argue with.
Surrender becomes concrete after our opportunity to speak has been honored. We may still believe the decision is mistaken, and a serious concern may deserve further attention. But we need not treat every lost vote as evidence that the group has lost its way. We can help carry out an ordinary decision we would not have made ourselves. Doing so does not erase our judgment. It acknowledges that we joined a fellowship with other consciences in it, and that ours was never meant to be the only one that counted.
What remains mine to contribute after my preference has been heard and declined?
I can remain part of this group.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Two.