April 2
Known by Name
At first, being recognized in a meeting can feel exposing. Someone remembers our name, asks about a worry we mentioned, or notices we were absent. We may have wanted the comfort of a room without the inconvenience of being known in it. Familiarity brings expectations, however gentle, and it can stir the old wish to remain free to disappear without anybody asking questions.
Belonging develops through these ordinary recognitions. We become a person whose presence matters, and other members become people whose lives we remember. There is no requirement to surrender our privacy or explain every absence. Still, allowing someone to care can challenge a kind of independence that has kept us lonely. Learning to live among people involves letting some of them know when things are difficult. A familiar voice saying our name may be an offer we are slowly learning how to receive.
What feels welcome, and what feels difficult, about being known?
Someone noticed I was here.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Eight, pp. 77–82.