March 1
Two Things Happened
Someone treated us unfairly, and afterward we repeated a private confidence to another person. When the second action is mentioned, we return immediately to the first. Surely anyone who understands how we were treated will understand why we did it. We may be seeking recognition of a real hurt while avoiding a separate responsibility.
An inventory does not require us to declare the original treatment acceptable. Nor does acknowledging a harmful response mean that we caused or deserved what happened before it. Two things happened, and each deserves an accurate account. We might need protection from further mistreatment as well as help deciding how to repair our breach of confidence. Those concerns need not cancel each other. Keeping them distinct allows us to seek appropriate support without making our own conduct invisible. Recovery offers us something more useful than winning the argument about which person has the greater right to be upset.
What becomes clearer when I consider my response without excusing the harm done to me?
Both parts of the story deserve the truth.
For the A.A. nerds: As Bill Sees It, No. 222, “Who Is to Blame?”; Alcoholics Anonymous, “How It Works,” p. 67.